Life is a process of figuring out what we want to be, where we want
to be, our purposes in life and our dreams and aspirations. I guess
lately I have been questioning myself and God of what my true purpose
is. I guess normal questions any 21 year old would ask. I have been
feeling lately like I am not doing enough. I work as a waitress, I live
at home, I go to church, volunteer when I can, try to stay inspired
going after my dreams etc.. But I have been questioning God lately
asking him to show me what my purpose is and to show me the path I am
supposed to be on working towards my goals. My life has stayed in the
normal routine the past couple weeks as I have been asking him these
questions and I felt like he wasn’t answering me and I even got pretty
discouraged because I felt like I would never find my purpose and I
didn’t know how to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I felt
like I was not doing enough. My finances have been a little rocky lately
as well as my job and having to move back home. I guess life in general
hasn’t really been all that stable for me. As I went in the corner
store yesterday I was about to pay in dimes for my vanilla double shot I
get daily. I talked to a guy in line while waiting for a good couple
minutes and just made him laugh and smile and just asked him how his day
was. He then paid for my drink not knowing I was going to pay in dimes
and not knowing my rocky financial situation. It meant the WORLD to me.
Even if it was something so small it meant a lot. I thanked him kindly
and told him he made my day. I knew I was also heading to work and got
offered a shift out of nowhere because Lord knew I needed one extra
shift to cover my bills. I smiled to myself feeling blessed.
It
then hit me so hard while I was driving to work. It is the little things
that count. It’s the little things in life that mean so much. We often
look at life as one big picture and look at all of our problems as one
problem. We look at our dreams and we begin to feel discouraged because
we realize how far off we are from reaching it when we should look at
how far we have come from where we used to be. We look at our
relationships and point out every flaw or problems we have, rather than
pointing out the good in people and nurturing the good we do have. We
look at our finances and see all these bills with the little money we
have but we don’t see God already working out how he’s going to provide
for us and the opportunities and doors he is opening.
God is a big
God but he also wants you to appreciate the little things about him and
the little things in life. God is every little thing, every big thing
he is EVERYTHING. He is there in the moment when the guy paid for my
$2.69 drink. He is the smile you get from the girl across the room, he
is the sweet hug you get from a friend everyday, he is the “I love you”
you get from your mom, he is the sun shining, he is the roof over your
head, he is the delicious meal you eat for dinner everyday, he is the
amazing friends he puts in your life, or the card you get from a
grandma. God works in small ways and BIG ways and also in mysterious
ways.
I remember I needed 205 dollars for bills in 2 days of
working. I had 0 dollars and went in for a shift and only made 30
dollars that night when I usually make over a hundred. So I needed 175
more. After that 30 dollar night of working. I could have easily freaked
out gotten frustrated started worrying. But I just chose to believe God
was working it out somehow. I don’t know all the details of how he
works I just know God works and doesn’t leave me hanging. He knew I was
completely relying on him. So I stepped back and said this situation is
yours. The next morning shift ( I usually make 40-70 approx in morning
shifts) I made $176. Exactly what I needed to make plus an extra dollar.
Ask me how that happened I have no idea. It wasn’t even a busy day just
generous tippers and God showing up when I most needed him. That’s just
one of the many times God showed up. God knows our situations before we
even know we are in them. He knows our heart, our circumstances, our
finance problems, our relationship problems and everything we need. We
often just pray to god for big things like healing or a job or when we
are in a crisis. But never thank god for the little things or ask him
about the little things. When we are hanging by a string with finances
or in relationships, when we have no one else to go, THAT is when he is
most glorified because he wants to step in. We have the choice to sit
there and worry, OR rely completely on him and watch him work his magic.
So why don’t we stop worrying and start living. Start trusting more
start loving more. Start doing what matters. Make someone smile, do a
good deed, tell someone they are beautiful, give someone a hug, tell a
joke and make someone laugh. Start living for others. After all this
life isn’t about us. What is my purpose? Well my purpose is being used
everyday. I am one day closer to my dreams.
With Love, Kelsi