Life is a process of figuring out what we want to be, where we want to be, our purposes in life and our dreams and aspirations. I guess lately I have been questioning myself and God of what my true purpose is. I guess normal questions any 21 year old would ask. I have been feeling lately like I am not doing enough. I work as a waitress, I live at home, I go to church, volunteer when I can, try to stay inspired going after my dreams etc.. But I have been questioning God lately asking him to show me what my purpose is and to show me the path I am supposed to be on working towards my goals. My life has stayed in the normal routine the past couple weeks as I have been asking him these questions and I felt like he wasn’t answering me and I even got pretty discouraged because I felt like I would never find my purpose and I didn’t know how to figure out what I am supposed to be doing. I felt like I was not doing enough. My finances have been a little rocky lately as well as my job and having to move back home. I guess life in general hasn’t really been all that stable for me. As I went in the corner store yesterday I was about to pay in dimes for my vanilla double shot I get daily. I talked to a guy in line while waiting for a good couple minutes and just made him laugh and smile and just asked him how his day was. He then paid for my drink not knowing I was going to pay in dimes and not knowing my rocky financial situation. It meant the WORLD to me. Even if it was something so small it meant a lot. I thanked him kindly and told him he made my day. I knew I was also heading to work and got offered a shift out of nowhere because Lord knew I needed one extra shift to cover my bills. I smiled to myself feeling blessed.
 It then hit me so hard while I was driving to work. It is the little things that count. It’s the little things in life that mean so much. We often look at life as one big picture and look at all of our problems as one problem. We look at our dreams and we begin to feel discouraged because we realize how far off we are from reaching it when we should look at how far we have come from where we used to be. We look at our relationships and point out every flaw or problems we have, rather than pointing out the good in people and nurturing the good we do have. We look at our finances and see all these bills with the little money we have but we don’t see God already working out how he’s going to provide for us and the opportunities and doors he is opening.
God is a big God but he also wants you to appreciate the little things about him and the little things in life. God is every little thing, every big thing he is EVERYTHING. He is there in the moment when the guy paid for my $2.69 drink. He is the smile you get from the girl across the room, he is the sweet hug you get from a friend everyday, he is the “I love you” you get from your mom, he is the sun shining, he is the roof over your head, he is the delicious meal you eat for dinner everyday, he is the amazing friends he puts in your life, or the card you get from a grandma.  God works in small ways and BIG ways and also in mysterious ways.
I remember I needed 205 dollars for bills in 2 days of working. I had 0 dollars and went in for a shift and only made 30 dollars that night when I usually make over a hundred. So I needed 175 more. After that 30 dollar night of working. I could have easily freaked out gotten frustrated started worrying. But I just chose to believe God was working it out somehow. I don’t know all the details of how he works I just know God works and doesn’t leave me hanging. He knew I was completely relying on him. So I stepped back and said this situation is yours. The next morning shift ( I usually make 40-70 approx in morning shifts) I made $176. Exactly what I needed to make plus an extra dollar. Ask me how that happened I have no idea. It wasn’t even a busy day just generous tippers and God showing up when I most needed him. That’s just one of the many times God showed up. God knows our situations before we even know we are in them. He knows our heart, our circumstances, our finance problems, our relationship problems and everything we need. We often just pray to god for big things like healing or a job or when we are in a crisis. But never thank god for the little things or ask him about the little things. When we are hanging by a string with finances or in relationships, when we have no one else to go, THAT is when he is most glorified because he wants to step in. We have the choice to sit there and worry, OR rely completely on him and watch him work his magic. So why don’t we stop worrying and start living. Start trusting more start loving more. Start doing what matters. Make someone smile, do a good deed, tell someone they are beautiful, give someone a hug, tell a joke and make someone laugh. Start living for others. After all this life isn’t about us. What is my purpose? Well my purpose is being used everyday. I am one day closer to my dreams.

With Love, Kelsi